32 Uses for a Can

summer 2002
  1. You can use it as one of those can-phone things.
  2. You could use it as the head cover of the robot you just built.
  3. You can trap elves in it.
  4. Also bugs...
  5. Hold it up to your ear to make everything sound different.
  6. Fill it with cement and throw it... at whatever.
  7. Target practice.
  8. make a pin hole camera, or a REALLY cheap and ghetto bellows.
  9. wear it as a bracelet.
  10. Paint it pink.
  11. Talk into it to disguise your voice, then call people up and... whatever.
  12. You could smash it down and file it and make a "shiv" or "shank."
  13. Instead of making it a bracelet, you could put it over one of your hands and then wear long sleeves, and it would look like you don't have a hand, kind of hollywood film style. Like when Luke Skywalker lost his hand.
  14. You could leave it outside and let it breed tetanus, then get tetanus from it.
  15. You could use it as an uncomfortable stool.
  16. Put cereal and milk in it, then eat from the can.
  17. Tie a sturdy line to it and use it as a grappling hook...
  18. or to fish water from a well...
  19. or to catch a really small fish in an aquarium or pond.
  20. Eat it. Some people are into eating metal.
  21. Or feed it to a goat.
  22. Use it as a communication device between you and some alien subspecies, or
  23. Wear it on your head to keep the CIA's mind controlling sound wave satellite from affecting you.
  24. Throw it across the warehouse you're hiding in to distract the armed men who are looking for you.
  25. Use it as a drum [then you could join Slipknot].
  26. Or a mirror.
  27. Or to reflect light at things, to signal them, or blind them while you make your escape.
  28. Attach it to your forehead and tell everyone you are the Great Cernunnous and that you demand large quantities of loose change to sate your bloodthirsty and godlike desires.
  29. Use it as a change cup when you're living on the streets.
  30. Use it to better listen to people on the other side of a wall.
  31. You could probably turn it into some kind of miniature cannon.
  32. If you're lucky, you could use it to deflect a bullet.
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